Stuck

I honestly don't know why I tried,
Tried so hard to be yours,
Yours only,
What do I have to show for it?

What do I say to you,
You who broke me down,
Tore up my heart,
Stomped on soul?

I wanna move on,
So fucking bad,
But I've never said no,
Let use me.

I regret everything,
Every single kiss,
Every single touch,
I hate you.

You turned me into this,
A sick sadistic being,
A waste of space,
Empty airways.

Now how will he stand my scars?
This boy I fancy,
One who isn't you,
One better for me?

You made me want to die,
Curl up in a corner,
And in my wrists,
Carve your name.

I resisted temptation,
Found salvation,
But you still linger,
Poison in the crook of the dagger.

I used to think it would be us,
Destroy each other,
Until we were nothing,
But anything.

No,
You drove me away,
Even if you are still in my dreams,
Taunting me.

God I fucking hate you,
You and your sick ways,
Using and abusing me,
Leaving me alone.

I found someone else now,
Someone who might actually care,
You know he called me 'dear',
Something you never did?

You and your pretty words,
Seducing me and my damned lips,
Giving you what you want,
Within that forbidden kiss.

We were always hidden away,
So I don't know why I care,
What I'm doing here,
(And why I'm still there.)

I'm in love with the memories,
Not you,
Who says I can't make those again,
With someone new?

Oh right,
My subconscious,
Because I can't trust anyone,
Thanks to you.

Fuck you.