Prevention

There you were
The loner boy
I saw you everyday
But I hadn’t really seen you before

Not until one day that is
When I caught a glimpse
A glimpse of your forearms

The pain lynched and inscribed on your skin
I was suddenly aware of the chain around your neck
What could the pendant be? I thought

So that next day I sat in the desk next to yours
Everything about you…I became suddenly aware of
Your long raven hair
The sincere green tint around your pupils

I was rendered speechless when you raised your brow in question
Though I only stuttered once in your presence
I sat next to you every day from then on

Watching you scribe and scribble in your journal
The curtain of black hair shielding me from your porcelain features
I found myself thinking of your lips
At other times I wanted to just take your hand in mine

To tell you someone cares….that I care
It stung me whenever a new slit appeared
For every scar I counted gave me one reason more to show I cared

Then one day…
After school, I saw you sitting alone under the football post
Upon closer recognition, I saw the chain of your pendant dangle between your fingers
The gleam of a razor

I ran to you fumbling on my knees
You looked at me warily as I took your hand in mine
Pursing your lips, giving into light by placing the razor in my palm

Searching my eyes and mine searching yours
We lay next to each other in the grass
I talked to you and you to me

When the time came for me to leave
Your lips fell to mine for the first and final time

Because I am here now
Writing my final words to you
To place in your casket
For I was not enough to prevent you from cutting too deep