The Endless Pain

So there I sit.
Staring at the wall.
Still.
Alone.
Silent.
And then ……
I let go.
I let out a scream of pain as I feel tears fall down my face
The hurt is indescribable
How can they expect me to do this?!
They know I can't
And I won't
How could you make me choose between two things that I need
I can't do it
I can't take it
And then.
Relapse
I jerk out my razor
And roughly brush the sharp blade across my wrist
AGH. DAMNIT. OH. AGHHH.
it hurts
The blood rushed through my skin
As if it were just waiting to be released
Another rip
And then again
The razor glides through my skin like paper
My screams are louder than ever
But I'd rather feel the physical pain than the emotional pain
The hurt is still there
So i take one final stroke with my razor blade
And let out one last scream
And with that
I give up
Only praying for God to take me