Decision Day

I never thought I’d ever see
All that blood on my hands and knees
THat night to choose
ALmost made me lose
My mind
My heart
My hands

I wanted you
But I wanted him
I love you both
Is that a sin?

Drip, drip
Blood on the floor
I chose but one
And one’s no more

I promised not to slice
I tried with all my might
He said he wanted to die
I couldn’t stop him if I tried

The bathtub’s red
I feel the dread
Scrub away the stains
But they’re there to stay

I’m sorry I broke
I’m sorry I fell
It felt like I choked
Damn, I’m going to hell...

Is he alright?
Did he end this night?
I don’t know how
Didn’t I vow?

A noose
A blade
Some pills
The pain

This shit won’t end
But I might as well bend

I haven’t seen my blades
In days, and days, and days
But tonight I might
Just love their sight

Metal to skin
It’s sinking in
On the thigh
Not for the curious eye

Dead, gone
I wish I was
Dead, gone
Maybe not long...