LETTER TO SUSAN

I keep having this feeling that I'm never gonna fit in around here
But
I don't care
Cause
I've been putting blades in my wrist for so long I've lost track of when I first started
And
I've been thinking about what it would be like going to the light side
But
Then it seems that I can never get a break from all the bullshit
So
I cry myself to sleep every night
Wondering what difference would it make if I just ended it all tonight
Cause
You struck the right nerve
It's dangerous for people to trust me
And
It's because of all the abuse you got away with in this life
You said you love me
But
Then you cut clean through my hope with all your bullshit
You know back in the day I might have let it fly but not anymore
And
You saw me cut the pain away for the last time bitch
You wanna know why
Because
I built my life around someone other than you
That's right I have a complete family now
I didn't wanna leave you alone, but you left me no choice
You said you love me
Yet
You to refused to stay
Well I've got the solution to that problem
Gonna grab this knife and slice you up good tonight