Feeling this Life Full of Unhopeful Thoughts

I don't want to live in this world
if God can take my soul
I'll gladly give him this pretty penny I picked up from the ground
I may look happy with this fake smile
it's only painted on with a golden brush
so it looks like its pure as the day I was born
I can't fight anymore there isn't much left
I feel so drained from listening to all the lies
So sore from the hurt you made me feel
this time around I just want to wait it out
not feeling anything at all
no happiness that we use to believe in
no sadness that we went through over and over again
spending as much time writing this as I ever will spend
i can't just stare at the people around me and feel something more.