How Will I Ever Know?

How will I ever know?

I wish I could see you, even if it’s just your small board back.
In my heart, I feel like I would chase you but I know I couldn’t.
My mind is in this weird state. I want you. But I don’t know why or how bad or what kind of want.

How will I ever know?

I need you to stay close to me. Please. Don’t leave. Stay. Stay here with me at least as my friend.
It hurts to know if you really liked me. So please tell me you never did.
And all you wanted to do was to use me. Tell me that instead please.

How will I ever know?

That’s what I want to hear. It will hurt less then if I know that you truly liked me.
Or even “loved me” as you once said that night.
It’ll hurt because if you loved me, why did you lie to me. It scares me. Loving someone;
I have never fallen in love. And I don’t know why I like you and how much do I like you.

How will I ever know?

But when I found out that you lied I cried. I cried so hard, because it hurt so deep. I trusted you.
I don’t know if I cried because I liked you so much but I know I cried because I trusted you.
Is trusting my version of “liking”?

How will I ever know if I liked you?