Obsession

If you’re wondering why I’m obsessed –
It’s because everyone’s watching
And taking notes
I can see them.
Their cogs in their brain
Slowly processing my daily intake
(It’s all healthy – I’m in the healthy weight range)
Breakfast (check)
Dinner (check)
Tea (check)
Tick it off your list.
And yes I’m obsessed
Because when my clothes don’t fit
I lock myself away
And I’m sick.

(I’m really sick.)

Every strain, the blood shot eyes –
Even the fucking, blinding, curse of a headache
Is worth the pain
(Just so I don’t gain)
And the number on the scales stays the same.
But maybe it would get lower….
If the weight of the world wasn’t pushing
On my shoulders.
I think I’m young but I’m getting older
But everyone ends up in the ground.
So if you wonder why I eat –
It’s because I never keep owt down.

So thank your obsession for my obsession –
It’s teaching me a lesson
(To be honest)
That the content of my soul
Is based on what I do (or do not)
Consume,
And that people don’t need to be intelligent,
Or charming,
Or kind
As long as they’re ‘normal’
And don’t have any ‘problems’
And conform to the ‘real world’.

Do you know the biggest life lesson?
Never trust anyone.
Not now. Not ever.
Leave each to their own –
Let’s the obsession grow.
We all die of one,
And let me tell you…
The death is

Long.
And slow.