Attack of the Skunk Dragon (A The Canterbury Tales remix)

The sun was melting into the horizon.
Two worn out looking men entered an old tavern,
one seemed to be supporting the other.
His blue eyes look tired,
his blond hair in a mess.
He wore a brown trench coat,
and underneath a black fancy suit.
The other man seemed to be barely able to stand,
and his friend seemed to be all that kept him up.
He had wavy, short brown hair,
brown, shining eyes.
He was wearing a silk, violet suit,
that screamed of wealth.
His handsome face wore a loopy grin.
The men staggered into the tavern,
and headed to the bar.
“I would like a beer,” the wealthy man said.
“You’re already drunk Alvin,” the other man said.
The bartender walked to the men.
He looked at their suits.
“You look like you came from a wedding,” he commented.
“That we did, my fine sir. Right Rory?” Alvin said goofily.
Rory nodded a small nod.
“There was a dragon too,” Alvin continued.
Rory sighed with exasperation.
“You were drunk the whole wedding!
You didn’t see what really happened you fool,”
he scolded.
“Then what happened,” the bartender asked.
The beefy man took out a glass from a shelf,
and took out a cloth from his pocket.
He began to clean the glass,
but it just seemed to get dirtier.
His bearded face look interested,
and his green eyes full of wonder.
The rest of the tavern had grown silent,
expecting an epic tale to be told.
Alvin seemed to like all the attention.
He cleared his throat dramatically,
and leaned forward.
“I arrived at the wedding taking place outside,
which served great alcohol by the way,
and everyone was bustingly with excitement.
Personally I didn’t see what the fuss was about.
Marriage is a waste of time.
Anyway, I sat down in the crowd,
and waited for the wedding to commence.
Finally the bride appeared,
and walked down the aisle.
She wore a white dress,
and pearls on her neck.
Her blonde hair was in a bun,
and her face shining with happiness.
The groom was smiling back,
mirroring her happiness.
His brown hair neatly combed,
brown eyes a little nervous.
His tall form stood proud though,
as he waited for his bride.
Then, out of nowhere a red dragon appeared!”
Alvin paused for dramatic effect.
Rory couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Alvin continued his tale.
“It landed with a giant thud.
It’s huge black eyes scanning the the crowd.
He was fierce and hungry looking,
his giant white teeth shining with blood from a previous kill.
Everyone was screaming with terror.
It ignored their screams,
and took one look at the beautiful bride,
licked it’s giant lips,
and swallowed her whole!
Then the groom came forward,
now wearing a suit of armor,
and a shield and magnificent sword.
Though I wonder where he got all that?
Then the dragon breathed a huge blast of fire!
It engulfed the groom,
but when it was extinguished he didn't seem to be hurt!
Everyone had already ran away screaming.
The groom went up to the scary dragon.
He swung his sword,
and the head of dragon fell to the grown in a bloody mess.
The groom ran to the dragons body,
and pierced it’s giant belly.
The bride then crawled out of the dead dragon.
She was covered in blood but he hugged her anyway.
The an ogre came to the couple,
and married them.
“Now how about that beer?”
Alvin looked expectantly at the bartender.
“That isn't what happened,” sighed Rory.
The whole tavern look expectantly at him.
Rory groaned, and then began his tale.
“We arrived at the wedding.
Alvin went straight to the alcohol,
and was drunk in no time.
We went and found our seats,
and waited for the wedding ceremony to begin.
Finally the beautiful bride appeared.
She was wearing an elegant white dress,
looking graceful as can be.
Her blonde hair woven into a bun,
and shining pearls laced around her thin neck.
Her walk showed no nervousness,
because she was as confident as can be.
Her smile was radiant as she walked
to her husband to be.
Then a skunk showed up,
blocking her path.
He had been taking a stroll,
and now was shocked to see humans surrounding him.
The bride screamed in shock,
and the scared skunk lifted its black tail,
and sprayed the poor bride with its fumes.
The audience all scrambled from the seats,
quickly trying to leave,
before it turned its behind to them.
The bride stood there crying,
her dream wedding was ruined.
The groom took a look at his crying bride,
and a fierce and determined look painted his handsome face.
He went to the poor skunk and scared it away,
but not before it sprayed him too!
The groom ran to his bride,
and the ghastly smelling couple hugged each other tightly.
Then the priest came back to the wedding,
took out his book,
and married the dear couple.”
Rory finished his tale.
The bartender was booming with laughter.
The silent tavern began bursting with noise,
as everyone joined in.
“Now that was what really happened,” Rory said to Alvin.
“My dear friend,” Alvin said,
“I believe you were the one that was drunk.
What you said did not happen.”
Rory rolled his eyes.
“I even have a tooth from the dragon!” Alvin exclaimed.
Alvin reached into his pocket.
Everyone leaned for to see what he pulled out.
Rory sighed with pity.
“That’s a rock Alvin,” he said.
Alvin looked at Rory with pity.
“Man you are drunk,” Alvin said.
He set down the tooth shaped rock onto the table.
It was white and quite big.
There was a smudge of red on it,
and a sooty look,
but no one paid much attention.
Alvin looked at the bartender.
“So what about that drink?”