Have You Ever Been

Four years ago!
I was a little fish, big heart, swore I could rule the world
But now I, can’t, comprehend
The beginning of the end
I’m trying to remember what I was once told about the sky
Looking up, wrap my head around it
Try to forget about it
If only I knew back then how much it’d hurt to let it die.

The sound of the city drives me to believe in a life beyond my home
But the sound of the engine whirring drives me to a state of pain I cannot roam.

I’m homesick
But I’ve never set foot outside my house, and I
I can’t handle
All the pressure of everybody
Suffocation
Have you ever been
So far away from your own self
Have you ever been
So close to absolutely nothing but the sound of your own breath

Six years ago
I had a world of my own, no sweat dripping off my bones
Such an awkward child, I
Was just a little scared and dumb
“Get me out of here,” I said to myself, already sick of home
Look around, I was going nowhere
Couldn’t even grin and bear
If only I knew back then how hard it’d be to just not care.

The downtown steady rattles my bones, shakes it up just one more time
But downtown, no one knows who you are – my face isn’t just mine

I’m homesick
‘Cause I never wanna let go of everything I know
And I can’t handle
Anything I’m ever told to do
Have I ever been
Everywhere I just don’t wanna be
Have you ever been
You’re not alone, let’s think of home, you and me.

I’m homesick
I’ve got that rot-gut feeling that sends me reeling
And I can’t handle
All the pressure I inflict upon myself
Have you ever been
So strange, unwelcome, lost and ill at ease?
Have you ever been
If so, have heart, find your peace.