Invisibility

my voice is stuttering
in my throat
and i want to
force
it out

but i
can’t
and all i do
is sit and
say nothing

and i hate that
my heart bangs
uncontrollably
against my ribcage
and my lungs
strain and strain
for more
oxygen

whenever i try to
talk

so i sit
silently

and if i sit
really still
and really quiet

not even my friends
notice me