Out of Place

I feel out of place
I feel out of my element
I feel weird
I'm not like this
I'm not this person
Why is this happening?
To me of all people!
I feel taken aback
I never feel taken aback
Never feel out of place
Never feel out of my element
Never feel weird
So why am I feeling this now?
The world is my stage
And I am the star of this play
So how can I be out of place?
This isn't like me
This isn't right
This isn't happening
This can't be fucking happening!
I swore no one
And I mean no one
Would ever live to make me feel like this again
I had enough
I was done
I was fucking finished!
So how
After all these years
Can I feel like this
Fuck you
Fuck you!
Fuck you!!
Fuck you!!!
FUCK YOU!!!!
How can this be happening!?
I hate you!
I hate you!!
SHIT!
You're nothing special
You're nothing great
You're not that sweet
You're not that kind
You don't stand out
You don't make sense
You don't make fucking sense!
How dare you turn my world upside down!
Put it back
Put it back!
PUT IT BACK!!
This isn't happening
I'm out of place
This isn't happening!
I'm out of my element
This isn't happening!!
I'm weird
This.
Isn't.
Happening.
Fuck!
Shit!
You ass-hole!
I hate you
I hate you!
I hate you!!
I LOVE YOU!!!
There I said it!
Happy now!?
I hate that I can't hate you
You're not that special
But somehow
I don't know how
But somehow
You became special to me
I don't know how
But I love you
And I don't even think you see me
I hate that I can't hate you
You took my heart without knowing it
I think it happened when you first hugged me
It took a while for me to notice
I mean how do you know what's behind a wall
If you never look?
I built so many walls
I didn't realize you'd slipped past them
Not until it was too late
And you already took what thought was well guarded
Fuck you
Just fuck you
I hate this
This can't being happening
I just can't believe it
You've destroyed me
Turned me world upside down
And worst of all
Made me love you
And feel utterly
Totally
And compltely
Out of place