When We Kiss, I Can Breathe
I know for a fact that I am two people.
One always cries
The other always laughs.
I wonder if she laughs because
She knows why her opposite cries;
And she's so thankful that it isn't her
That has to carry around that burden.
I wonder if she cries because
She's jealous of her opposite,
Who never feels pain,
Or rejection,
Never has to feel loss.
I'm torn in two and it hurts.
I can't control when one shows her face
and the other claws and growls and destroys
Because she wants attention too.
She wants to be acknowledged
and have all her needs fulfilled.
They hate each other
Because sometimes, very rarely,
When the conditions are chaotic enough,
They can both be seen
And it feels good to not fight for recognition.
I can relax.
I can breathe.
I feel comfortable.
It only lasts a few seconds.
The me that never cries sheds a tear.
The me that never smiles chokes out a laugh.
And I am finally one
Until your lips leave mine.
Slowly our skin peels apart.
At the same time, I peel apart.
They scream until I kiss you again.
They screamed the whole drive home.
They are still screaming.
One always cries
The other always laughs.
I wonder if she laughs because
She knows why her opposite cries;
And she's so thankful that it isn't her
That has to carry around that burden.
I wonder if she cries because
She's jealous of her opposite,
Who never feels pain,
Or rejection,
Never has to feel loss.
I'm torn in two and it hurts.
I can't control when one shows her face
and the other claws and growls and destroys
Because she wants attention too.
She wants to be acknowledged
and have all her needs fulfilled.
They hate each other
Because sometimes, very rarely,
When the conditions are chaotic enough,
They can both be seen
And it feels good to not fight for recognition.
I can relax.
I can breathe.
I feel comfortable.
It only lasts a few seconds.
The me that never cries sheds a tear.
The me that never smiles chokes out a laugh.
And I am finally one
Until your lips leave mine.
Slowly our skin peels apart.
At the same time, I peel apart.
They scream until I kiss you again.
They screamed the whole drive home.
They are still screaming.