I Can't Forgive You.

It was a cold night.

Collided with you looking for something
Answers that you said you could give
Not what you really had in mind
To rip my last bit of hope away from me.

Fuck what you said to me
Only you are to blame for this
Rape
Get it out of my head
I cant take this anymore
Vengeance isn't even on my mind
Even through what you did.

You ruined me
Only you could see how I continued
Underestimating how vulnerable I was.

It was a cold night.

Can I ever get past this
And will the anxiety go away
Nicotine can only keep my mind off of things
To a certain extent of time.

Everyone who knows doesn't blame me
Vulnerable me
Emily the weak
Not the one to blame.

Fuck, so why do I blame myself?
Outside of my own head
Right where I should be
Getting a different perspective
I can't see what they want me to
Vacant from my own mind
Eyes open to every possibility.

Missing who I was before
Yet proud of where I've gotten
Seen too much to become weak again
Even though I just want to give up sometimes
Lovely things surround me
For why do they seem so dead?

Bullets of hate penetrate my mind
Lovely things begin to die
Alone within my head
My thoughts clashing within themselves
Everyone can tell I'm not the same.

I can't pretend I'm okay
Sexual assault is ruling my life.

This experience has broken me beyond repair
Hate fills every last crack
Eventually, I'll get over it.. Right?

Get over yourself, Emily
A world full of suffering is around you
Miniscule problems like yours don't matter
Even you know that.