absolutely nothing at all

im drowning
help me help me
im drowning
let me go let me go
conflicting thoughts fight in my head like pirates

sometimes i cry for no reason
this year has been like a waterfall
constant anxiety and self destruction flooding down on me
do i want to be saved?
do i want to die?
i no longer know.

the difference between sympathy and apathy is me
i do not care about anything at all anymore

why do people think the world revolves around pairs
or do i think this way because i am alone
i dont need anyone
i dont need anyone
i dont need anyone

i killed myself on new years day
but somehow im still here
littering my body with small scars that no one will notice
sometimes i like to think that they are beautiful
but i know theyre not
the only thing thats beautiful is the thought that someday i could kill myself again
and it will work next time
i am disgusting
i am a coward