It's a Cruel World After All

Lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling
Wondering how to get up, how to describe this feeling
Hollow minutes stretch into agonizing hours,
and yet I still find that I lack the power
Darkness surrounds me and there is only partial light
Darkness surrounds me and I have no will to fight

Holding in a desperate and trivial need to use the bathroom,
but allowing myself to wallow in my terrible ache and let it consume

Me.

It's a beautiful, cruel world where only the strong survive
The rest lie in the safety of their beds and await demise,
covering their faces with the sheets, living in fear,
too lazy and incompetent to find out whats out there

And as I stare up at the ceiling in this sea of perfect silent calm,
there's paradoxical unrest blazing through my palms
I clench my fists and seek that fire inside
I clench my fists no longer wanting to hide
I unclench my fists and realize there is no hope, for I've chosen the wrong side

Defeated, I roll over and allow the hours to slip into days
Rinse and repeat and there is no escape
This life of self mind-rape