Throw That Shade

i liked you
a lot
liked the genetic arrangement of
your facial features
thought you were cute as hell
let's be honest
(but you've always had
a problem with
honesty huh)
liked how you spoke
(slow and sweet
like molasses)
liked your hair
(brown and
nondescript)
thought that your affinity for
(lavender) candles and
(international) massages and
(succulent) cacti and
(pretentious) vineyards and
things i couldn't understand
('cause i'm stupid as fuck you see)
made you
different
thought that you were
smart and
special and
suave and
a bunch of other lame shit
we don't need to get into
and yeah i'll admit that
your words made me smile
and i'm a bit of
an
ice queen
(something i've been
very proud of)
but damn
you just set fire
to the whole
goddamn castle
made me melt and
drip (like honey
your words were so damn
honey
sweet)
that you could somehow
always
make me
not mad at you anymore
and you didn't even know i was mad
'cause i was a doormat
but i guess you like that in a girl huh
how you could find the
perfect
thing to say
see my problem was
(among many)
i couldn't get enough
of
how
you
made
me
feel
couldn't get enough of
being on the edge of my seat
how you could make me feel
things i tried not to
without even trying
how you could make me
wanna cry and
wanna smile and
wanna scream and
wanna kiss you and
wanna punch your teeth down your throat
all in the same breath
but nah
you wanted to throw that shade huh
wanted to have me to string along
(like a blindly devoted puppy for god's sake)
wanted a little toy
(pretty little doll)
and there i was
in all my stupid innocence
waiting for you
wanting and pleading quietly
(please please please pretty please)
trying to be strong and convincing myself
that
you cared
that
you wanted me
that
i was special to you
but nah
you wanted to be that shady one huh
wanted to prove to me that what i thought
about boys
(you only think with your
pre-pubescent dick)
about relationships
(ain't no wifey tho)
about this shit called feelings
(makes no goddamn sense)
was all true
but nah
you wanted to keep throwin' shade huh
wanted to let me go when
i needed you the most
i fucking needed you okay
but
then
wanted to pick me up
your little goddamn toy huh
'cause you couldn't find
anyone else to
suck your dick or some shit
get you off
help you "relieve stress"
and there i am
stupid and naive as can be
seeing the best in everyone
even you
ESPECIALLY
you
(as much as i hate to admit it)
and you must be pretty proud
i guess
smug as fuck
sitting there with your
wine and scented candles
laughing because
you think you've won
(haha)
(this must be
the joke of the
century)
(problem is that i'm not in on it)
and you know what
at least i'm grown enough to
admit that
you done messed me up
you've got me fifty shades of fucked up
you made me feel like
i was
losing my
goddamn mind
can admit that
you made me feel something i didn't think
i'd ever feel
for anyone
ever
didn't love you
hell no
(ain't no wifey, ya feel?)
but i liked you a hell of a lot
there go my feelings again
running rampant and shit
but nah
you wanted to play that shade game huh
(like your name is
bond
james bond
or some shit)
play with this trivial little thing
i call a heart
(puppet on a strings
all for you)
but that's okay
see what you
don't know is that
i'm shady as fuck too
guess you've got some competition babe
what you don't know is that
i've been keeping secrets
i'll tear your heart out
you won't even see it coming
and eat it too