One Can Change

21 years, 3 months-
She can wear whatever she wants without being labeled as a whore.
She can listen to secular music without the fear of going to hell.
She can dance without the fear of defrauding someone.
She can have sex with whomever and whenever she wants without being judged.
She’s free.

21 years, 3 months-
She gets on a plane to Italy,
Her three month old daughter sleeping soundly in her arms.
Her boyfriend meets her at the airport.
Embraces her.
She feels safe for the first time in months.

21 years, 3 months-
Her father sneaks into her room.
He rapes her as the baby cries.
He slaps her baby.
She’s had enough.
She jams something hard against his spine.
He’s paralyzed.
She grabs her baby and runs as fast as her prosthetic lets her.

21 years, 2 months-
She takes her withdrawal medicine.
She gives the baby withdrawal medicine.
She’s once again blamed for the rape.
It’s her fault.
It’s always the woman’s fault.
It’s true because that’s what the cult leader says.
Her sister sometimes has the audacity to blame the baby.
Her sister tells her,
“You’re forgetting we’re not the ones making sinful bastards with random people on the street.”
She slaps her sister.
That was the last time anyone ever called her baby a name.

21 years, 1 month-
She twitches, but the withdrawal medicine helps.
She gets a new prosthetic leg.
Her four brothers refuse to touch her baby.
Only three of her five sisters want to hold the baby.
Her mom refuses to.
Her dad refuses to, but he continues to touch her.
Everyone calls her baby a sinful bastard.

21 years-
She feels contractions.
The baby is only twenty-eight weeks.
The rapist left his phone.
She sneaks a call.
The rapist notices the contractions.
He shoots her up with drugs.
The police find her high out of her mind.
They arrest the rapist.
At the hospital, she gives birth to a baby girl.
She screams.
He said he would kill the baby if it’s a girl.
The baby is born addicted to heroin.
The parents hate the baby.
They think the baby is full of sin.
They blame their daughter for what happened.

20 years, 9 months-
He thinks the baby will be a boy so he lets her keep it.
He shoots her up with heroin.

20 years, 5 months-
She’s pregnant again.
Hopefully she can keep this baby.

20 years, 4r months-
He rapes her again.
He won’t stop until he gets a son.

20 years, 4 months-
The baby isn’t even two months along.
He thinks it’s a girl.
He doesn’t want a girl.
He gives her an abortion.

20 years, 2 months-
She’s pregnant with his child.
Of all people, the rapist is the father.
He wants a son.

20 years, 2 months-
A man kidnaps and rapes her.
Why?
She did as her father told her.
She covered up not to defraud men.
Her rapist said her modesty intrigued him.
He wanted to see what she was hiding underneath.
He took away her prosthetic leg to make sure she would never get away.

20 years, 2 months-
Her father has sex with her.
Her father tells her to wear a skirt to the ground.
Her father tells her to wear long sleeves.
She’s not allowed to wear anything else.
Everything else is for whores.
God hates whores.

20 years, 1 month-
Her father has sex with her.
He wants to make sure he’s better than her boyfriend.
He forbids her to see or talk to him.

20 years-
Her boyfriend comes to America for her birthday.
Her siblings are frightened by his appearance.
Her oldest brother starts a fight.
“God hates fags,” he says.
Her boyfriend is forced back home.

19 years, 10 months-
She’s finally back home.
Her siblings make fun of her new prosthetic leg.
She’s forced to do the difficult chores.
Her father takes the leg away when he wants to touch her.

19 years, 10 months-
She wakes up in an Italian hospital.
Her boyfriend is there.
She had just woken up from a coma.
Her left arm has been crushed.
Fingers on her right hand were broken.
Ribs were missing.
She was covered in bruises.
Her right leg was gone.
She doesn’t remember anything.
Her boyfriend helps her practice on the prosthetic.
She’s shown a picture of her family.
They seem nice.
She sees her dad.
She remembers everything.

19 years, 8 months-
Her family is leaving Italy.
She tries to cross the street.
A car couldn’t stop in time.
The world freezes as a sharp pain rips through her body.
She falls asleep in the ambulance.

19 years, 7 months-
Her parents find out she’s dating.
Only courting is allowed.
They found out she’s had sex with her boyfriend.
Sex before marriage?
How sinful.
Oh, how sinful.

19 years, 7 months,
Her boyfriend loves her.

19 years, 6 months-
A sister finds her birth control pills.
Birth control isn’t allowed in their religion.
Children are a gift from God.
Her mom asks who she is fucking.
They don’t know the pills are really because of her father.

19 years, 6 months-
Her father has sex with her.
An Italian boy she met earlier picks her up at her hotel.
He brings her over.
He holds her all night.

19 years, 6 months-
Her family arrives in Italy.
She sneaks over to a festival with…
Oh no.
Secular music.
Not sacred.
She meets a nice Italian man only a year old than her.
He has a Mohawk.
He’s covered in tattoos.
Her parents would’ve thought he was covered in trash.
If God wanted you to have tattoos, he would’ve given them to you.
She thought he was covered in art.

19 years, 3 months-
Her parents announce that everyone is going to Italy.

19 years-
Her sisters give her clothes.
Her brothers give her clothes.
Her moth gives her clothes.
Her dad gives her sex.

18 years-
She had her third abortion.

18 years-
She forgot to take the pill.

17 years-
The father-daughter sex continues.
Her father tells her how pretty she is.
She doesn’t like it.

16 years-
Her father sets her up to court.
She refuses to court the young man.
He punishes her.

15 years-
More sex.
Her father won’t let her push him away.
He traps her arms over her head so she can’t escape.
She cries.

14 years-
A second abortion.
The nurse is still suspicious.

14 years-
Her father finds her pills.

13 years.
12 years.
All that happened was sex.
Her father wouldn’t let her tell anyone.
She asked why he raped her.
He said it was her fault.
He blamed her for being too pretty.

11 years-
Her first abortion.
She snuck out of the house late at night to get it.
She only knew what an abortion was because of how much her parents talk bad about it.
They thought abortion was murder.
The nurse is suspicious.
She called the police.
The police don’t find anything.
The nurse gave her birth control pills.

11 years-
She’s pregnant.
Her father is the child’s father.

10 years-
Her father forced her to have sex with her every day.
He said it was in the name of God.
She was scared of her father.

10 years-
Her father called her to his room.
He forced her clothes off.
She screamed.
She kicked.
He continued.
He told her that she was his prettiest daughter.
He touched her.

9 years-
She was slapped on the butt with a belt.
No dancing allowed.
God doesn’t like dancing.
Dancing is defrauding.
Only whores dance.

8 years-
She got caught listening to secular music.
Her father hit her ears.
Secular music caused emotions that controlled the body.
Only God is allowed control over your body.

7 years-
She snuck on a pair of pants at the store.
Her mom forced them off.
No.
No pants allowed.
We are modest.
Pants aren’t modest.
Only whores wear pants.
You have to wear skirts below the knee.

6 years-
She was slapped for being too loud.
She was slapped for asking too many questions.

5 years-
She was slapped for watching TV in a store.
TVs tell dangerous stories.
Stay with mommy and daddy.
We’ll teach you God’s way.

4 years-
Her parents taught her how to say certain phrases.
God hates homosexuals.
God thinks people who have abortions are murderers.
God hates Jews.
God loves us because we follow his word.

3 years-
She was slapped for being too curious.

2 years.
1 year.
The blanket training continues.
She can’t leave her blanket or else she’ll get slapped.
But she wants that toy that’s on the other side of the room.

0-
As her father holds her in his arms,
He wonders if she’ll be a part of God’s army.
He has a feeling this will be the child who will definitely not break free.