Self Destruct

It's been two hours
I'm still fighting a losing battle
With the lump in my throat
And I'm hungry
But the sight of food
Makes me sick to my stomach
I'm trying not to be pathetic
But I can't help it
And I don't know what to do
It's my fault and we both know it
And I said I'm sorry
But sorry doesn't cut it
And you can't say you're surprised
Because I lied
I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut
And I feel stupid
And I hate myself
And I'm debating
Should I slit my wrists
Or slit my throat
Or dissect the situation
Or cry myself to sleep
But it won't do any good
Your respect for me is gone
And our friendship has self destructed