Caffeine Highs and Butterflies

I fall asleep tonight
A little older and I
Can't stand the way I hold my head

I'm feeling sorry for me
I whisper silently
"Maybe I'd be better off as dead"

God I miss coming home with
sweat-stained shirts and sunburnt shoulders
When things were fine
And I was bolder
Now I stand
Shocked and surprised
With caffeine highs and butterflies
To watch you fade away

This isn't happening
While I'm still battling
I can't make one fucking mistake

For moments never had
I want to take it back
Wondering why I have to be awake

God I miss coming home with
sweat-stained shirts and sunburnt shoulders
When things were fine
And I was bolder
Now I stand
Shocked and surprised
With caffeine highs and butterflies
To watch you fade away

I can't say I blame you
But I can beg you stay
I know I'm pathetic
So fucking pathetic
Please don't let this decay

I can't say I blame you
But I can beg you stay
I know I'm pathetic
So fucking pathetic
Please don't let this decay

God I miss coming home with
sweat-stained shirts and sunburnt shoulders
When things were fine
And I was bolder
Now I stand
Shocked and surprised
With caffeine highs and butterflies
To watch you fade away

I fall asleep tonight
A little older and I
Can't stand the way I hold my head