Self Inflicted Pain

Lost and confused, don't know what to do
All I want to do is run to you
I can no longer sleep, my days grow long
I'm broken, I can no longer stay strong

Everyday I struggle with self inflicted pain
I have the fear that I'll never be the same
I can no longer cry, I won't let these tears fall
Instead I cant like nothing is wrong and I stand tall

At night when everyone's asleep
I take out my knife and I cut so deep
This is how I let out my tears
It also helps release my fears

No longer satisfied, I want something more
I can no longer live life with this disgusting gore
I'm thinking about suicide, but you come to mind
It's not easy to lose someone in whom you confide

You keep me going, you stay by my side
Even when you in for a bumpy ride
It always seems like I'm pushing you away
But that's because I want you to stay

I know I'm disappointing you, I know this is wrong
But please believe me that I'm trying to stay strong
As I write out this poem, I let my tears fall
I'm running to you, can you hear my call?