I Made Myself

I

I'm going to keep being my dream, even if other people want to bring it down.
I'm not as complex as broken, I'm as simple as set back.
Verily, creeping in. Ducking around it to begin.
Don't know which way the helicopter blades whirl.
All around me this circling silence of opinion.
This defused centrifugal perception

II

But that phantom has walked the earth
Stop worrying, let it go.
Ask yourself to forgive.
Ask what you yourself can give.
Blind eyes weeping their malaise.
Walking one hand blind, the daily rind,
Inside out slithering doubt
Justified my withering fear in light's soft affluence made right.

III

I trailed behind you,
Your soft warmth keeping me going
I failed to protect you when you went around it all.
And sated your misery's dispatched
This brought it all down.
And brought it all back
And I trailed by your agony, with ointments to bless us now.

IV

I didn't need the medicine, I said too long,
Too long in misery, to long in life
And I inculcated that mass, like an alien growth
Blossoming inside me to reach new mediums of segregated happiness
When I could not feel the pain, when I could grip harder and push,
Away my sorrows and build by reinforcing first, into a little community of hopes and dreams,
Where I washed up.
I was made whole though broken, made right though wrong,
Big and small, smart and dumb, Yes, I made myself.

V

My secret oath was never a shadow
My hopes never a dream
My reality was coming for me when the blades whirled round
And swirled up my dreams in kindly tinted reality
I succumbed to life in so many ways
But not without all those parts of me.
So don't tell me I'm not who I am.