Blackout

I hate that my mind went straight to you when the power went out
I hate that when I couldn’t breathe, it was for you I wished to shout
I hate that as my body froze, it was your arms I wished to hold me
I hate that when my vision floundered, it was your face I wished to see
I hate that as the room got colder, it was only your warmth I felt I wanted
I hate that when the silence hurt, it was by your voice I wished to be haunted
I hate that as anxiety gripped my mind, it was your company that I craved
I hate that as panic feigned death, it was by you that I wished to be saved
And I hate that I could never tell you, that you will never know
And I hate that, that’s because you would rather I not show
And I hate that you will never care
And I hate that you will never be there
Because you hate the way I feel
Because, to you, I’m not even real