Don't Fall in Love with a Boy with Perfect Eyelashes
Before
What sucks is that you and I, we’re fucking good for each other. We both know this. We’ve both experienced it first-hand. But you, you can’t see with the eyes in front of you, only the ones on the back of your head. Yet, despite this, you’re somehow looking both forward and backwards. You’re nearsighted and farsighted, but everything ten feet in front of your face is out of focus. Out of sight, out of mind. You can’t see me right in front of you. You see the next one, hope she’s something like me. But it’s not me. You don’t hear my voice, you’re listening to memories, longing to make new ones, to replace that ghostly Siren’s song. To fast-froward, to fall in love again, and have something with someone like me. But it’s still not me. It’s you. It’s fucking you. Every day. In that moment, in that second, moments before and weeks after, it’s still you. But you don’t feel my lips whispering promises of happiness, you lick your still-salty lips for the next tragedy.
My thoughts as you slept in my arms, after
We watched shadows dance on the ceiling, reflections of the world around us passing by. We did that a lot–watched everyone else pass by. But in some moments, we were just there, together. Lips on lips, feverishly grabbing for each other. Those were our own moments that someone else would pass by and think about if they saw us, locked in a sort of desperate passion that had been building up for months. God, that first kiss was a miracle. I never thought you would want my lips on yours. I never thought we would lay in your bed, ranting on about nothing, and that you would interrupt me with kiss upon glorious kiss. And the way you looked at me… I also never thought that it would happen this way. I never imagined that fucking you would come with such intensity. But God damn, it did. I never thought it would be so easy to let you slide down my throat, crawl under my skin, and take in all that I could. I never thought you would be so eager to please, or that you would dive in like nothing else mattered. I knew we would work, but I couldn’t have imagined it better.
Of Us
Lazy lips murmur sweet bullshit that feels nothing short of real. But then, certain words and phrases creep into my head. “I’m glad I had this with you.” “Whenever this ends…” “This was exactly what I needed to prove to myself that there was nothing wrong with me.” Just keep it to yourself, and leave me with the delusion that one day you might really fall in love with me. Hush, now. It’s time to sleep next to you and dream of an alternate reality where you still see me as me, not a replacement, not a step along the way–but the whole damn fucking mountain to climb. The hand that you hold the whole way there, and the person you want to share the view with–because you know I’ll see exactly what you see. A great big world made microscopic by our own dreams. I’ll dream of you.
Part One (as it came to an end)
You were the only thing I adored but never quite had even when I was tangled in your limbs, skin on skin, eyes roaming and hands fastened, loving lies clouding the air.
You said I was yours,
And you sang a Siren’s song,
And I never fucking knew that my name would sound like art falling off your tongue.
I signed your body with my lips,
And you branded my stomach with words in a language I’ve never heard.
You left me naked and alone with your teeth still locked on my throat,
And I let you sink in.
I knew, I knew, I know now that I was just confirmation of things you thought you lost.
You just wanted to hear your name again and again,
And I whispered it until you remembered.
Part Two (i hope you can see, now)
You will never quite forget my smile
And the way I came in, quiet like creeping clouds,
Then I took the breath from your chest,
Like a howling gale sweeping through you.
I hope you get a shiver when you hear thunder, and think of my laugh.
I hope that the rain’s downpour reminds you of how wholeheartedly I gave myself to you.
I hope it washed the salt and the sand out of your hair and your eyes.
The Difference Between Sirens and Mermaids
We stood on the beach, our toes in the sand, in the middle of the night, with a cold moon reflecting on the warm water that was settling on our faces. You were in a panic. You lost something important. You lost your ship, and it was not in its designated place in the harbor. It was silently fading away, flying, almost, and you tried so hard to reach for it, you would have swam across ten oceans to get it back. I told you that the water was too strong, that it would kill you if you went in now, and I knew of the ocean. I crashed and burned in it’s wake, I had the scars on my back to prove it. But another voice overpowered mine. It was soft, and it was sweet, and you thought it was just for you. And it seemed that way. But still, you swam across not ten but eleven fucking oceans to get to where that voice led you, only to find that you were not the only sailor who lost his ship to a Siren… What I never told you about that night, is that I had crafted my own fins to swim by your side, and I followed you to your doom. I suffered the same peril. I watched you die, and I faltered. You earned your scars, too. We mirrored each other in our under water graves, but I found I could breathe. I thought I could share my breaths with you until we made it back to shore, and all I could think was that the only difference between Sirens and Mermaids, was that, that fucking Siren would have killed you if it wasn’t for this Mermaid. But I was never born for the sea to begin with, and neither were you.
What sucks is that you and I, we’re fucking good for each other. We both know this. We’ve both experienced it first-hand. But you, you can’t see with the eyes in front of you, only the ones on the back of your head. Yet, despite this, you’re somehow looking both forward and backwards. You’re nearsighted and farsighted, but everything ten feet in front of your face is out of focus. Out of sight, out of mind. You can’t see me right in front of you. You see the next one, hope she’s something like me. But it’s not me. You don’t hear my voice, you’re listening to memories, longing to make new ones, to replace that ghostly Siren’s song. To fast-froward, to fall in love again, and have something with someone like me. But it’s still not me. It’s you. It’s fucking you. Every day. In that moment, in that second, moments before and weeks after, it’s still you. But you don’t feel my lips whispering promises of happiness, you lick your still-salty lips for the next tragedy.
My thoughts as you slept in my arms, after
We watched shadows dance on the ceiling, reflections of the world around us passing by. We did that a lot–watched everyone else pass by. But in some moments, we were just there, together. Lips on lips, feverishly grabbing for each other. Those were our own moments that someone else would pass by and think about if they saw us, locked in a sort of desperate passion that had been building up for months. God, that first kiss was a miracle. I never thought you would want my lips on yours. I never thought we would lay in your bed, ranting on about nothing, and that you would interrupt me with kiss upon glorious kiss. And the way you looked at me… I also never thought that it would happen this way. I never imagined that fucking you would come with such intensity. But God damn, it did. I never thought it would be so easy to let you slide down my throat, crawl under my skin, and take in all that I could. I never thought you would be so eager to please, or that you would dive in like nothing else mattered. I knew we would work, but I couldn’t have imagined it better.
Of Us
Lazy lips murmur sweet bullshit that feels nothing short of real. But then, certain words and phrases creep into my head. “I’m glad I had this with you.” “Whenever this ends…” “This was exactly what I needed to prove to myself that there was nothing wrong with me.” Just keep it to yourself, and leave me with the delusion that one day you might really fall in love with me. Hush, now. It’s time to sleep next to you and dream of an alternate reality where you still see me as me, not a replacement, not a step along the way–but the whole damn fucking mountain to climb. The hand that you hold the whole way there, and the person you want to share the view with–because you know I’ll see exactly what you see. A great big world made microscopic by our own dreams. I’ll dream of you.
Part One (as it came to an end)
You were the only thing I adored but never quite had even when I was tangled in your limbs, skin on skin, eyes roaming and hands fastened, loving lies clouding the air.
You said I was yours,
And you sang a Siren’s song,
And I never fucking knew that my name would sound like art falling off your tongue.
I signed your body with my lips,
And you branded my stomach with words in a language I’ve never heard.
You left me naked and alone with your teeth still locked on my throat,
And I let you sink in.
I knew, I knew, I know now that I was just confirmation of things you thought you lost.
You just wanted to hear your name again and again,
And I whispered it until you remembered.
Part Two (i hope you can see, now)
You will never quite forget my smile
And the way I came in, quiet like creeping clouds,
Then I took the breath from your chest,
Like a howling gale sweeping through you.
I hope you get a shiver when you hear thunder, and think of my laugh.
I hope that the rain’s downpour reminds you of how wholeheartedly I gave myself to you.
I hope it washed the salt and the sand out of your hair and your eyes.
The Difference Between Sirens and Mermaids
We stood on the beach, our toes in the sand, in the middle of the night, with a cold moon reflecting on the warm water that was settling on our faces. You were in a panic. You lost something important. You lost your ship, and it was not in its designated place in the harbor. It was silently fading away, flying, almost, and you tried so hard to reach for it, you would have swam across ten oceans to get it back. I told you that the water was too strong, that it would kill you if you went in now, and I knew of the ocean. I crashed and burned in it’s wake, I had the scars on my back to prove it. But another voice overpowered mine. It was soft, and it was sweet, and you thought it was just for you. And it seemed that way. But still, you swam across not ten but eleven fucking oceans to get to where that voice led you, only to find that you were not the only sailor who lost his ship to a Siren… What I never told you about that night, is that I had crafted my own fins to swim by your side, and I followed you to your doom. I suffered the same peril. I watched you die, and I faltered. You earned your scars, too. We mirrored each other in our under water graves, but I found I could breathe. I thought I could share my breaths with you until we made it back to shore, and all I could think was that the only difference between Sirens and Mermaids, was that, that fucking Siren would have killed you if it wasn’t for this Mermaid. But I was never born for the sea to begin with, and neither were you.