My Thoughts in the Night
The things I remember
And those I forget
Not at all the same though
But all I regret
Although regret is a bit much
I always do wonder
Why my thoughts do wander at night
And then I go under
My thoughts drown me too much
I cannot breathe now
I'm so sorry my friend
On my mind somehow
It's so overwhelming sometimes
And then I just forget
The one thought I was just stuck on
It must be my mind set
To hop from thought to thought
And it sometimes hurts
But it's what I deserve
Lost in the outskirts
I'm sorry dear Chris
I hope some day you read this
But word can't describe
I went against my inner tribe
But this poems not just for you
To those who have hurt me
The one with the bright blue eyes too
Aren't you happy and free
You ran away from her
Beautiful daughter
You will never see her
You're gone like water
To be truthful I'm very scared
One day I will tell her
Of her real father and his lies
And she'll fall in a blur
Not that you'll even care
What if she wants you
Wants to meet her really dad
Will you meet her too
I fear for her and they unknown
You could be dead by then
With your drugs and booze and woman
I'll stab you with a pen
With if she grows issues
Like abandonment
I don't want her to hurt
Your bones will be bent
Never knew I could hate so much
But to protect I guess
I hate you Harold, you asshole
You made a fucking mess
Now to that I forget
When I was so young
Just seven years old then
My life just begun
Bit how could you do such a thing
To your sister no less
Look what you did to me Mikey
Memory I suppress
I'm so fucking scared now
I hope you know that
Don't want to remember
I just feel so flat
My thoughts are consuming me
And I have no clue what to do
I'm so scared all alone
Are you alone too
I'm sorry I hurt you
I hurt you so much
Do you forgive me
Just a touch
You hurt me
I hate you
What wrong with me
What to do
You touched me
Just why
Your sister
I want to cry
My thoughts are jumbled
I can't think straight
This window here
Looks so great
Fall onto pavement
Would feel so nice
But what about
Skating on ice
Oh these memories
From different people
All so painfully
Atop me steeple
What do I do
I don't know
My impulse is speaking
He wants a show
He's coming back
The demon within
What he come out
It will just begin
What do I do
I'm so sorry
I want to hit you
The sky's so starry
I hate myself
And this battle within
What do I do
Where do I begin
Please help me
I want to cut bad
I want to end it
I'm so sad
These are my thoughts
In the middle of the night
All of my past
And everything I may fright.
And those I forget
Not at all the same though
But all I regret
Although regret is a bit much
I always do wonder
Why my thoughts do wander at night
And then I go under
My thoughts drown me too much
I cannot breathe now
I'm so sorry my friend
On my mind somehow
It's so overwhelming sometimes
And then I just forget
The one thought I was just stuck on
It must be my mind set
To hop from thought to thought
And it sometimes hurts
But it's what I deserve
Lost in the outskirts
I'm sorry dear Chris
I hope some day you read this
But word can't describe
I went against my inner tribe
But this poems not just for you
To those who have hurt me
The one with the bright blue eyes too
Aren't you happy and free
You ran away from her
Beautiful daughter
You will never see her
You're gone like water
To be truthful I'm very scared
One day I will tell her
Of her real father and his lies
And she'll fall in a blur
Not that you'll even care
What if she wants you
Wants to meet her really dad
Will you meet her too
I fear for her and they unknown
You could be dead by then
With your drugs and booze and woman
I'll stab you with a pen
With if she grows issues
Like abandonment
I don't want her to hurt
Your bones will be bent
Never knew I could hate so much
But to protect I guess
I hate you Harold, you asshole
You made a fucking mess
Now to that I forget
When I was so young
Just seven years old then
My life just begun
Bit how could you do such a thing
To your sister no less
Look what you did to me Mikey
Memory I suppress
I'm so fucking scared now
I hope you know that
Don't want to remember
I just feel so flat
My thoughts are consuming me
And I have no clue what to do
I'm so scared all alone
Are you alone too
I'm sorry I hurt you
I hurt you so much
Do you forgive me
Just a touch
You hurt me
I hate you
What wrong with me
What to do
You touched me
Just why
Your sister
I want to cry
My thoughts are jumbled
I can't think straight
This window here
Looks so great
Fall onto pavement
Would feel so nice
But what about
Skating on ice
Oh these memories
From different people
All so painfully
Atop me steeple
What do I do
I don't know
My impulse is speaking
He wants a show
He's coming back
The demon within
What he come out
It will just begin
What do I do
I'm so sorry
I want to hit you
The sky's so starry
I hate myself
And this battle within
What do I do
Where do I begin
Please help me
I want to cut bad
I want to end it
I'm so sad
These are my thoughts
In the middle of the night
All of my past
And everything I may fright.