To Be Me

We are friends
However, I think you want to be more
I have this feeling
Something I cannot ignore.

It makes me shy,
it makes me scared
it even makes me fear.

Overanalysing, overthinking
over this feeling
help me I'm sinking.

Is it my hair?
Is it my face?
Am I that much of a disgrace?

Too many people,
No safe zone.
The longer I stay
the more anxious I become

Sick of this feeling,
sick of being alone
This 'disorder', this 'anxiety'
it needs to get gone.

I hate that I cannot speak
I hate that I have messed up
too many opportunities have passed by
and the regrets eat me up.

Fluttering in my chest
my mouth is closed up
my mind second-guesses,
why won't it shut up?