Stargazer

Music is my heart and soul,
Only thing keeping me whole.
But my problems follow me in waves...
This depression is overwhelming

Breathing misery into my life
Ill sing, and write, my fans unite.
But at the end of the day
I still want to die.

The bell tolls and my heart folds
The everlasting grey has tainted me.
The bottle slips from my weakening grip,
And shatters with my resolve...
The liquor stains the ground
Resembling what I have found...
The void inside me..
Its growing, its feeding, depleting me.

I felt so sure, so secure.
I felt like I was not alone..
But in the end, I wander the dead of night.
Aimless, needless, hopeless, and alone.
Forever to atone.
Another morning of desperate desire for black,
Emptiness.
I am Lost, Consume me please
Take my soul, beyond the trees.
A fight for the damned,
I am on my knees.

Scent of liquor and cigarettes permeate
Along with a stench of gunpowder, it is late
Pitch black darkness, the moon is high.
It is a perfect time to die.
I hold the pistol to my eyes...

Another empty shell in the midnight of hell..
Those around me, they can never see whats there..
What lies inside, behind the mask I wear.
Its sad really, I condemned myself, because there is no way
I can see the light again
It is lost to me forever.

I surrender..
She wins her game..

And so I pump the liquor into my frame..
Another cigarette burns into my skin..
I dont feel it...
It doesnt hurt anymore.
The hell in my heart is too much to care.
Im a guest in my own head..
So I might as well be dead
I am no longer my own
A slave to depression, to madness.
When does it end?...

I know the answer,
As the scent of liquor and cigarettes permeate
Along with the stench of gunpowder, it is late.
Pitch black darkness, the moon is high...
It is a perfect time to die
Hold the pistol to my eyes...
Goodbye.