I'm Bipolar
Are you sure you're okay?
That was the question they asked,
I was 13 years old with a scarred wrist.
I put a smile on my face and just said,
I'm okay.
How are you feeling today?
The therapist asked me,
A pile of Uno cards on the desk,
I nodded my head,
I'm fine.
Here's something to make you feel better.
The doctor said,
Handing me a prescription for anti-depressants,
I stopped seeing the therapist,
Thank you.
Why did you do it again?
They questioned,
As I held up a wrist wrapped in gauze,
I stared at the pills on my desk,
I don't know.
Do you want to see a psychiatrist?
The lady asked me,
As I sat in a hard desk chair,
My eyes glanced over at my dad,
Sure.
Let's start from the beginning,
He asked me,
Wanting to know what caused all of this,
I fiddled with my rings,
Well, I was a child...
Are they working?
I was questioned by them,
The demons still rambling in my mind,
I glanced away,
Yeah, I'm fine.
You're bipolar,
She stared at me carefully,
A diagnoses I feared,
My heart raced in my chest,
Of course I am.
Are you feeling better now?
They asked for the hundredth time,
I just put on a face,
Smiling brightly,
Yeah, I'm great.
Why are you acting like this?
He screamed in my face,
I refused to take my pills,
And I looked away from him,
I'm sorry.
Why can't you be normal,
They shouted,
My demons still haunting me,
They didn't have to remind me,
I wish I could be normal.
I have demons that are drowning me,
He said,
A frown on his face,
I glanced up and kissed his cheek,
We all do.
I'm bipolar,
I admitted to him,
I was shaking as I admitted my demon,
He just glanced up from his hands,
It's okay, sweetie.
That was the question they asked,
I was 13 years old with a scarred wrist.
I put a smile on my face and just said,
I'm okay.
How are you feeling today?
The therapist asked me,
A pile of Uno cards on the desk,
I nodded my head,
I'm fine.
Here's something to make you feel better.
The doctor said,
Handing me a prescription for anti-depressants,
I stopped seeing the therapist,
Thank you.
Why did you do it again?
They questioned,
As I held up a wrist wrapped in gauze,
I stared at the pills on my desk,
I don't know.
Do you want to see a psychiatrist?
The lady asked me,
As I sat in a hard desk chair,
My eyes glanced over at my dad,
Sure.
Let's start from the beginning,
He asked me,
Wanting to know what caused all of this,
I fiddled with my rings,
Well, I was a child...
Are they working?
I was questioned by them,
The demons still rambling in my mind,
I glanced away,
Yeah, I'm fine.
You're bipolar,
She stared at me carefully,
A diagnoses I feared,
My heart raced in my chest,
Of course I am.
Are you feeling better now?
They asked for the hundredth time,
I just put on a face,
Smiling brightly,
Yeah, I'm great.
Why are you acting like this?
He screamed in my face,
I refused to take my pills,
And I looked away from him,
I'm sorry.
Why can't you be normal,
They shouted,
My demons still haunting me,
They didn't have to remind me,
I wish I could be normal.
I have demons that are drowning me,
He said,
A frown on his face,
I glanced up and kissed his cheek,
We all do.
I'm bipolar,
I admitted to him,
I was shaking as I admitted my demon,
He just glanced up from his hands,
It's okay, sweetie.
♠ ♠ ♠
I just had to vent for a moment. My disorder has been acting up since November and I thought I'd share a little bit of my story for a moment. I'll explain my age during each stanza very shortly. Stanzas 1 and 2, I was 13 years old; Stanza 3, I was 14; Stanza 4, I was 15; Stanza 5, 6, 7, 8, I was 16; Stanza 9, I was 17/18; Stanza 10, 11, 12, and 13, are my current age, 18. Each one shares a section of my life; the boy screaming in my face was my past boyfriend while the man who was talking about his demons was my current boyfriend; he is very accepting of the way I am and I'm so, so thankful for that.
My depression and bipolar more or less control my life and me not having it in check for months has really affected my life; I'm glad I could just get this all out.