Hardly Living

I live one foot in life and one in the Grave.
My body half dead and still living,
Fooling those who surround me to believe that I like them can live and breath.
Breathing is a struggling whether to stop or to keep going.
Holding myself under the water to bring myself back to life.
Most days I can't tell if I'm drowning or I'm swimming, if I'm falling or I'm scrapping grasping for a foot hole.

People think I'm sad. They think it will go away.
Constantly they tell me I'm over dramatic,
That I'm just trying to get attention.
Attention is the last thing I ever wanted..or even needed.
I wish I was invisible and maybe just maybe I could leave people not miserable.
Never touching lives with the days that I feel like trying.
I feel like everyday I bring them more into the grave and take pieces of them with me and leave destruction and hardship behind.

So everyday I wake up...one foot alive and one in the grave