It's Not Your Time.

It’s that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach.
That feeling that hits you like oncoming traffic.
It’s when you realize this isn’t like every other time.
This time is different.
The words being spoken, thoughts being shared,
different.
It’s then the panic begins to rise.
All thoughts of retiring to a dreamless sleep long gone.
In a whirlwind of fear and anguish the mind becomes overly aware.
Like being thrown into the icy depths of a frozen lake.
Time slows.
Everything stops.
The world freezes in one moment.
A moment suspended in time where
the future is suddenly uncertain. Unknown.
Long after a new day has begun,
close to the sun breaking through the horizon.
Tears fall.
Breathing seems impossible.
Thrust into outer-space with no life. No sound.
No suit. No air. Like a punch to the gut.
The grave reality of the inevitable.
The thought of a life without you.
The thought of trying to go on, the thought of the unknown.
Shaky hands dialing a simple number.
A simple number that is meant to help, but how much help
can one achieve from across the way?
Hushed broken whispers into the phone.
Sobs and pleas to a stranger.
7 minutes later.
7 agonizing minutes and then silence.
The room is dark.
A soft light of early morning begins to filter through the windows.
It’s then time restarts. The world resumes spinning.
Alone in a room.
Silence.
Fear and panic slowly begin to fade.
Then nothing.
The body shuts itself down.
The feeling of falling, the same feeling occurs when torn from sleep.
Avenged Sevenfold blares from the illuminated screen.
Two words across the screen.

“I’m okay”.

The future is uncertain, but not this moment.
There now is a future.