Ugly Duckling

I can no longer
Look in the mirror anymore
I can't bare to look at
what I have become

I am no longer thin
I am no longer the standard of beauty,
I just feel like
Fat, goth trash.

All the black
Can't make me look slimming anymore,
My size continues to go up
As my self-esteem gets lower.

On social media
Comparing my self
to all the other girls,
Why can't I be them?

Everyone says I look fine,
That I am still beautiful,
But am I?

I am caught up in this superficial bullshit,
But my excuse if I am just brainwashed
I can't help but hate how I look.

Eating less,
Exercising more,
I am not getting the results quick enough,
My body is shutting down.

I just want to be pretty,
I just don't want to be known
As the ugly duckling.