Modern Shakespeare (Sonnet 130)

Flabs of skin protrude from thy arms.
Resembling that of an overweight chicken.
None but Rudolph has a redder nose then thee
It’s putrid revels in the peace of night,
Petals, your lips ne’er resemble,
Rough as the stubble on your chin,
Ebony locks as thick as the woods,
Curl beautifully across the brow,
That seemingly is one,
As your third brow connects the two.
Though not beautiuos as a queen,
Or as illustrious as a Hemsworth,
She is true to me,
As I am to her.
Though her hideous smell, and body of troll,
No matter what, she makes me whole.