The Birds On Her Birdfeeder

She watched idly
From her window
Birds having a go

At her birdfeeder

A moment of tranquility
In the starting process
Of recovery

From a mental breakdown

She wanted to put it behind her
And to do so was a process
But the events still lingered

She was haunted
Haunted by her past
And what she did

What she became
Her guilt

She felt guilt
Guilt for having lived
And guilt for what she did

She wanted to atone
Perhaps, she wanted her pain to end
She told no one

And she tried

The first time failed
And, in the other attempt,
She was saved

She wanted to forget that
But she couldn't
No, she'd never forget that

She couldn't forget
Her sister's tear-streaked face
No, that traumatized her

More than her childhood did

She wanted to protect her
But, by dying, she would've left her
Alone

Alone as she was
With her father and sister
Both gone

Snatched away

She couldn't do that
She had to keep fighting
For her sister

She needed help
She went on a "retreat"
And is seeing

Someone to help
Taking her medicines
And moving passed it

Here she was
Currently, watching idly
From her window

Birds having a go
At her birdfeeder
A moment of tranquility

As her recovery begins
And continues