First

There's a weight on my mind,
and hands at my throat.
I'm choking on every word you spit.
You
are
killing
me.

I am falling.
There is no air to capacitate my lungs;
No muscles anymore in my throat.
I hope you don't expect me to
waste my dying breath
on you.

You said you wanted to learn,
I said I wanted to die.
You said you hope I burn,
I said I'll watch you cry.
You said you'd never leave,
znd I said I'd never lie.

If this is what dying is like,
let heaven fall from the sky.
If this is what screaming is like,
let hell rise.
If this is what breathing and bleeding
and dreading and choking
and drowning in crying is like,
it's hard to believe that
everything will be alright.

If this is what leaving is like,
let me die.