Inside

I keep it all inside
And hope nobody sees
What it is I'm trying to hide
I hope I don't betray myself
I hope I don't scram or cry
I hope I don't let it slip
How much I want to die
If they knew the truth
Knew how I really felt
No doubt they'd only think I'm crazy
Well, more than they already do
I pray there's a way
To make this pain go away
Cuz the usual arsenal
Is out of ammo
The meds don't work
The blade is dull
The vodka's half empty
Instead of half full
There's times I wish I could
End this hollow life
An eternity of nothingness
Is better than one more second
Of this lie
I wanna scream
I wanna shout
"Here I am!
Let me out!
Of this prison!"
But I can't
i don't
I won't
I just fake a smile again