The Day I Wanted To Die

The date was the 3rd of December 2006
I couldn’t do it with a knife, I couldn’t do it with a fix
But I knew that in my room I had the right kind of pill
I just hoped that I had enough to get myself killed
I wasn’t scared, I was just plainly sad
So much that when the pills went down my throat, I didn’t even feel bad
The only thing I could think of was: “Soon it’s all over”
I wasn’t doped, I was clean and sober
At the last point I hadn’t got anymore tears to cry
I was just waiting for my life and soul to take off and fly
I did know that what I did was wrong
But still I just wanted to sing my last song
I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t do a simple thing as ending my own life
Not even by pills, and not even by the stained blade of a knife
I was crying, screaming and throwing up for 24 straight hours
Still to this day I feel that the sweat wont be washed off by all The Worlds showers
I hate myself for putting the ones that I love through that kind of pain
But still I know, that soon I might try doing it again
I feel sorry for the people who would be crying over me
Oh, why couldn’t I just be a bat hanging from a tree