After All

After all I have been through
. . . We’ve been through
You thought I would not love you
After everything was over

‘Although it was over
Some still hunt us
Just like one hunted you

I was foolish
To think that . . .
It was over and 1 could live
Happily
Lovingly
With you . . .
And the kids

But now . . .
Loneliness
Nothingness
Sadness
Loveless
Cloud my mind
Not enough though
To make me crazy
Or to keep me from the children
I will love them
Like I loved you
Like I have always loved them
Like you loved me
Like you loved them

They miss you
As so do I
We will keep missing you
I will keep missing you
Until you come back to us
Or awaiting death . . .
To hopefully lead me to you
But that means I would leave the kids
I can’t do that . . .
At least not yet . . .
Because you told me to protect and love them both

After all
I have always . . .
Loved
Listened
Only to you

I may have been caged
I may have been defeated
I may have been manipulated
And controlled by someone
Other than you
But that never changed the fact
That I loved you
And always will love you

You saved me
From myself
From someone else
You saved me
You were always there . . .
To save me
You were my hope
You gave me hope
You were the first person
Who understood
And listened to me

I will go on . . .
Living . . .
Hanging on to life
I will never love again
I will only ever love you

For you were
And always will be
Ours . . .
My
Savior
Hope
And love of my life

But now you’re dead
Why?

I guess I will always be a delicate flower
And a very lonely flower
After all I am just your husband
. . . Just another broken guy
Who is not aloud to love

So my dear
I guess I have to say . . .
Goodbye

You will not become a memory
That night
That night that you left me and the kids
That night will become a nightmare
It will haunt me
Will you haunt me too?