Just one cut

Just one cut
Accidental
Shaving
And slip
Cuts
The pain…
There is none.
But the release…
No more anger
Or sadness
Nothing.
It really did help.
Now…
Watching the blood…
Forced down the drain with water.
I pull apart the razor
Grab the blade
And slice
Across my wrist
Over and over
Then my leg
So much blood
Getting weaker
Minute by minute
Weak
Faint
And then I pass out.
Waking up hours later
In a hospital bed
Bandages covering my wrists
My legs
A nurse comes in
She said my sister found me
Nearly dead
In the shower
She tried to kill herself too
I feel guilty
I didn’t want to die
I just wanted the blood
I wanted to feel better
It helped once
I can try again
So I do the same
Many times
Until one time…
I don’t wake up.