My Oath

Sometimes it's so easy to not fess up,
Pretending responsibility is a fairy tale.
You can keep your secrets guarded inside,
Even if they do damage your soul.
If you promise to tell because you know you should,
You can forget for just a little white longer.
You can smile and fight tears, like everything's okay.
You know it's not, but if you're good at lying
Sometimes you can even trick yourself into believing it.
But you can't ignore the feeling of your heart
Sinking in the pit of your stomach.
You can only go so long before you need it.
You've sworn it off but you can't fight it.
Food! Food! Food! It's your cry of failure.
You know you'll give in but throw it all up.
It's so easy to pretend I'm stupid,
Like I don't know to eat when I'm hungry.
I make it a game. 200 crunches, no breakfast, I win.
Skip exercise, eat food, and once again I lose.
97-101, my chant toward victory, my war cry.
If anyone suspects, I'll cut them off.
Mike'll hook me up, cigarettes fight hunger.
Some people say it's crazy to starve,
But for someone to call you "beautiful",
It's a meager price.