Another drag

Spare me the sugar coated lines, the sweet taste of the chase, spare me the fluttering of eyes lashes and coy looks, the rehearsed lines in front of the mirror, spare me the romantic delusion that you hope to achieve so that you may swoon me.; I tell you now it will not work. But thank you for trying, thank you for the butterfly kisses, the soft caresses when no one was looking, the secret smile. I thank you for that. But as I said before it has no effect upon me. And here I sit in my dilemma and my conundrum, trying to get you to see. What more can I do? I light a cigarette and half heartedly listen. I look past you and see colored carbon lights, sparkles of blue dance before my eyes, a sparrow flying from its nest-Oh I envy that sparrow- and then you turn my attention back to you. I give a weak smile and take another puff-fool I think. Complete fool. I am lost again in another thought when something catches my eye, a broken beer bottle upon the ground. Fragments of glass shimmer and sparkle while threatening to cut and bleed you dry-how apt, I chuckle. I stare more intently at the wreckage; this bottle was once drunk to fill someone with hazy joy, with guiltless pleasure. I want to be that bottle-without the wreckage of course. And once again you pull me from my thoughts with a clever line, how witty you are I smile. I take another hit from my stick of cancer-it eats away at me slowly, too slow. You begin to babble on and on, useless lines upon crap of dancing shit. I take another hit and stand, you do the same. I look at you and smile goodnight. You lean in for a hug. A wicked thought forms in my mind-for truly you are a fool-and I press my lips to yours. I slip my tongue past your lips and breathe smoke into your mouth. I break the kiss with you bewildered and droopy eyed, I turn and walk away. I shout over my shoulder, next time just kiss me. I flick my cigarette to the ground still burning- another hit without satisfaction.