for R.R.
June 10, 2007. Reply to four six oh six.
Late late late. My turn.
It's worse. So much worse.It's persistent before me. And your name etched into my eye lids before I fall asleep. So it's stuck there at night even though I envy her. If I wrote my name on my own heart in permanent marker would it stay there? I could only try yours and see if it adapts. Not a hand fitting smugly in a glove but your hand in mine. She's walking on the balance beam in the gym. And if she falls she won't get up. Not because she doesn't want to, she can't. It's not her heart shattered into a million little pieces. Only one thousand. Plus I have a needle to pierce what I can. Only will I pretend to mend it. Her head is fragmentized into nothing and her tongue smears around letters. If you fainted in my arms at the sight of what you saw I would cut your throat until the blade turned insensitive. Committing the crime? It was the knife speaking for me. As I left you on the glacial ground next to a broken harlot your blood would meld in a steady beat with hers. If you belong together alive why not dead? Tell me why. You can't. My heart was solid until you came along. It charred away with the fire that was burning strong. It melted not for you, but into nothing at all. My exclusive heart is gone and there is a cavernous place in my chest. You can never find one identical to mine. I froze in place as my vile smile fell. When I died, oh my, when I died I would see you in hell.
Late late late. My turn.
It's worse. So much worse.It's persistent before me. And your name etched into my eye lids before I fall asleep. So it's stuck there at night even though I envy her. If I wrote my name on my own heart in permanent marker would it stay there? I could only try yours and see if it adapts. Not a hand fitting smugly in a glove but your hand in mine. She's walking on the balance beam in the gym. And if she falls she won't get up. Not because she doesn't want to, she can't. It's not her heart shattered into a million little pieces. Only one thousand. Plus I have a needle to pierce what I can. Only will I pretend to mend it. Her head is fragmentized into nothing and her tongue smears around letters. If you fainted in my arms at the sight of what you saw I would cut your throat until the blade turned insensitive. Committing the crime? It was the knife speaking for me. As I left you on the glacial ground next to a broken harlot your blood would meld in a steady beat with hers. If you belong together alive why not dead? Tell me why. You can't. My heart was solid until you came along. It charred away with the fire that was burning strong. It melted not for you, but into nothing at all. My exclusive heart is gone and there is a cavernous place in my chest. You can never find one identical to mine. I froze in place as my vile smile fell. When I died, oh my, when I died I would see you in hell.