Lets Stop Pretending We're Happy..

I said my first words
I said them loud,
I cried and I tried
to make myself proud.

I watched him leave
for the very last time,
I let my tears wait
for the next crime.

I made myself calm
drowning the pills,
As the phone rang to
notify the first kill.

I lay in bed half alive,
half dead,
As I watch him and my
brother fight for their lives.

I scream and scream
for someone to listen,
But when I return home no
one knew that I was missing.

One threat after another
as well as more pills and cuts,
I see my dead mother
and him with more sluts.

I watch the blood flow my wrists,
its the only way to express my pain
I taste like mist but it helps me stay sane.

I sense the smiles and the joy
but I drift away afraid of
being their toy.

I search my mind for any clues
of went wrong,
but only find this sad sad song..