I finally realize

i have realized
at long last
that i mean
nothing
their pain matters
mine does not
time to close my heart
forever
i can not die
and put the ones that love me
though the pain and
suffering
that i feel everyday
they dont deserve it
they've done nothing
wrong
im stronger
i can deal
for so much
longer
my mask has returned
now glued in place
never again to
waver
i will let nothing hurt them
they are all that matter
they are
life
i may have my 13 reasons
probubly more
ill never truely be
sure
but that isnt enough
to break their presious hearts
they took me in their
arms
and i pushed away
but now i return
begging for
forgivness
im done with talk
of death and despair
i no longer matter
you do.