So Ironic.

It's so ironic--
that every time I truly need you, you're off somewhere else.
And I just find it so hilarious--
that you're not seeing anything wrong with these eyes.
Leaking blue down my face
almost the color of my sight.
And music isn't anything releaving anymore.

I say my pain,
and find no comfort in your words.
Is it so much to have someone say "I love you",
and mean it?
These lies keep spilling out of my throat,
I say I feel fine.
I've grown up with,
tears being a sign of weakness.
If that's a fact,
them I'm more pathetic then I think I am.

Death is so much of an effect,
and to have everyone around you say they want to go?
Well, there's something wrong with that.
And to have your hero, grandma, love,
put on the 50% of living.
It kind of leaves you with zero hope boiling,
and darkness filling.
There's nothing I would rather do,
then to hide you, my best friend, from all the things after you.

I feel like a hoe.
I feel like a cheater.
I feel like a disgrace.
And a horrible friend and lover.
And now you know some of the truth,
so, can you help me through this life at all?