Yes, I will hold back

Loving you is the worst thing that I could do
The heart becomes the harlot, i'll encase myself in lead
I'm holding out by holding in, a sterilized scalpel
How deep till the center of the matter, that of which we seek?

I could pile a thousand boulders, logs, an soil upon it
Out of sight and out of mind doesn't do a trick for the treat
The kiss peels back the layers, raw and never meant to see
The dawn of day, the falling of the sun, or even the drowning of the moon.

She can be that ray of light, the glowing ember of a stifled hope
If it worked out, where would the winners be?
What glorious fanfare would await and welcome them?
Fie to this gift wrapped guilt trip.

I will hold back these monumentous efforts
Choke back the bible thick words that cram my cheeks
I will not be the marty giving themselves up,
Nor a vagrant, but a villian.