The Angel That Was Me.
I stand on the edge of the roof…
Looking straight ahead to the trees and mountains.
Everything seems so fine from up here.
Like there is no pain in the world, no worries.
But the reality is surfaced in my heart.
Where the pain burns on, twisting evil painful veins
Around my heart…suffocating it.
I look down towards the mean looking concrete.
A gust of wind blows by and moves my hair around…
Fresh air against my face…the taste of being alive.
The painful veins on my heart tighten up….
Poison attacks my brain…
Unbearable pain…
What If I threw my self off?
Would my heart fly from my chest?
And get away from the painful veins…
Would my mind go off with the winds…
Finally being set free.
My body would hit the concrete…
Maybe bust my head open…broken legs..
A crippled body…
If my heart could fly away and my mind
Could be set free would it be worth it?
The pain in my heart says
“ yes it would be worth it. “ my mind thinks.
“ no, its not worth it. “ but what does my mind know?
Its not the one feeling the pain of braking to pieces.
I spread my arms out to the sides…
Step closer to the edge…
One more step and my heart will fly away.
“ what do you think your doing? “
My head whips to the left and I see me?
With beautiful white angel wings.
“ I’m going to jump off, so my heart can fly away. “
“ you really think jumping off the roof will liberate you
From the pain? What happens when you die? Where will
You go? Who said just because your body will no longer
Be in use your soul wont feel or live?
My mind goes blank for a couple of seconds. Does
Any of that really matter if the pain will go away?
I roll my eyes.
“ what do you know about this stuff. “ I say in an annoyed tone.
“ I know that there are a lot of people out there that are hurting.
And there living there life’s. Do you really think you’re the only One with problems and pain? “
“ I don’t want to feel this way. “ I say coldly.
“ who does want to feel this way? There are people
That have it way worse than you. “
“ yeah like who? “ I shout out.
She/me/ the angel. Rolls her eyes.
“ homeless little kids that are dying of hunger
Everyday. Your not dying of hunger are you?
Little kids that have to work there asses off
To have something to eat. Do you work?
Kids that get Beaten by there parents everyday.
Do you get beaten?
Little kids with cancer ruining there life’s.
How’s your health?
Pregnant teenage girls left to raise there
Baby alone.
Are you pregnant? And there’s way
More problems out there in this world
Not only yours. “
With tears in my eyes I answer.
“ no. “ to all the questions asked.
“ that’s what I thought. So before you
Want to kill your self and end the life you could
Have think about all those people who have it
Worse than you. Yet they struggle everyday
To keep there life’s together! “
She/me/the angel is furious now.
“ go ahead jump. End your life if your sure
The pain will really go away, if your not
Brave enough to struggle in this world
Like every other person. If you really
Want to be a coward and let those
Things stop you from being happy then
Do it, but its sad how your going to let
Those things and those people stop
You from being happy and having a life.
Think about it. “
A stronger gust of wind blows by and she/me/the angel is
Gone. Tears fall from my eyes as I take in everything that
Was said. She’s right…I do have it better than a lot of people.
Everybody feels pain…it’s part of this life…its not all cookies
And rainbows…I’ve been so selfish thinking of just me, me, me.
Not thinking about all those people out there. I forgot about my
Dreams and goals I want to accomplish. I want to succeed not
Become a failure. I take two steps back
Away from the edge. And look up
At the sky…the beautiful sky.
I feel like a ton of bricks have
Been lifted off of my heart.
I smile at the angel that was me
and rescued me.
And leave from the roof.
Looking straight ahead to the trees and mountains.
Everything seems so fine from up here.
Like there is no pain in the world, no worries.
But the reality is surfaced in my heart.
Where the pain burns on, twisting evil painful veins
Around my heart…suffocating it.
I look down towards the mean looking concrete.
A gust of wind blows by and moves my hair around…
Fresh air against my face…the taste of being alive.
The painful veins on my heart tighten up….
Poison attacks my brain…
Unbearable pain…
What If I threw my self off?
Would my heart fly from my chest?
And get away from the painful veins…
Would my mind go off with the winds…
Finally being set free.
My body would hit the concrete…
Maybe bust my head open…broken legs..
A crippled body…
If my heart could fly away and my mind
Could be set free would it be worth it?
The pain in my heart says
“ yes it would be worth it. “ my mind thinks.
“ no, its not worth it. “ but what does my mind know?
Its not the one feeling the pain of braking to pieces.
I spread my arms out to the sides…
Step closer to the edge…
One more step and my heart will fly away.
“ what do you think your doing? “
My head whips to the left and I see me?
With beautiful white angel wings.
“ I’m going to jump off, so my heart can fly away. “
“ you really think jumping off the roof will liberate you
From the pain? What happens when you die? Where will
You go? Who said just because your body will no longer
Be in use your soul wont feel or live?
My mind goes blank for a couple of seconds. Does
Any of that really matter if the pain will go away?
I roll my eyes.
“ what do you know about this stuff. “ I say in an annoyed tone.
“ I know that there are a lot of people out there that are hurting.
And there living there life’s. Do you really think you’re the only One with problems and pain? “
“ I don’t want to feel this way. “ I say coldly.
“ who does want to feel this way? There are people
That have it way worse than you. “
“ yeah like who? “ I shout out.
She/me/ the angel. Rolls her eyes.
“ homeless little kids that are dying of hunger
Everyday. Your not dying of hunger are you?
Little kids that have to work there asses off
To have something to eat. Do you work?
Kids that get Beaten by there parents everyday.
Do you get beaten?
Little kids with cancer ruining there life’s.
How’s your health?
Pregnant teenage girls left to raise there
Baby alone.
Are you pregnant? And there’s way
More problems out there in this world
Not only yours. “
With tears in my eyes I answer.
“ no. “ to all the questions asked.
“ that’s what I thought. So before you
Want to kill your self and end the life you could
Have think about all those people who have it
Worse than you. Yet they struggle everyday
To keep there life’s together! “
She/me/the angel is furious now.
“ go ahead jump. End your life if your sure
The pain will really go away, if your not
Brave enough to struggle in this world
Like every other person. If you really
Want to be a coward and let those
Things stop you from being happy then
Do it, but its sad how your going to let
Those things and those people stop
You from being happy and having a life.
Think about it. “
A stronger gust of wind blows by and she/me/the angel is
Gone. Tears fall from my eyes as I take in everything that
Was said. She’s right…I do have it better than a lot of people.
Everybody feels pain…it’s part of this life…its not all cookies
And rainbows…I’ve been so selfish thinking of just me, me, me.
Not thinking about all those people out there. I forgot about my
Dreams and goals I want to accomplish. I want to succeed not
Become a failure. I take two steps back
Away from the edge. And look up
At the sky…the beautiful sky.
I feel like a ton of bricks have
Been lifted off of my heart.
I smile at the angel that was me
and rescued me.
And leave from the roof.