September 22nd, 2009 at 02:17am
Wild Child - Comments
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it is good cant wait to read the rest......March 13th, 2009 at 11:36pm
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I like the idea. but I hope Joe stops being mean to Frankie, how could anyone be mean to him??
Unfortunately, you have some grammer mistakes, spelling, and sometimes you write strange and I get confused.
But I do like it!February 16th, 2009 at 08:23pm -
ejjj...najz story ... update soon!!February 4th, 2009 at 08:34pm
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Pretty good!
There are a few errors, like neighborhood is one word and waitress is feminine (I think you want the word 'waiter'), and you put Ms. but in the context it would be fully spelt out like 'miss'. And when you are talking about both Maya and Mandy, watch your plurals!
Also, don't forget your paragraph breaks! One should start new paragraphs whenever the thought changes, and/or the speaker changes. Nothing makes a story more confusing than improper dialogue format. Second, when people are speaking, one uses "quotation marks" instead of 'apostrophes', and watch the overuse of exclamation points, you could get deleted for that.
Really, it is a good plot-line, you have the creative talent, and these errors could be avoided by proofreading and using a basic spellcheck application.
January 29th, 2009 at 02:46am -
This is cool!!January 26th, 2009 at 07:07pm
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OHH I love it update soon =]
X.o.X.o
TrejsJanuary 21st, 2009 at 06:20pm -
it's starting to flow =)January 19th, 2009 at 07:10pm
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i can't wait to see where you're going with this story =) i like it so far!January 17th, 2009 at 10:12pm
updateee!
please&thank youuu!