This was very creative. I love If I was Your Vampire by the way. This was awesome!!! Very dark and seductive. I liked it a lot. Keep up the good work!!!! I'm judging for the contest....lol.
This is very creative. The lust, the ecstasy, the complete guilt of this story goes along very well with the song itself. This story was a very good interpretation of the song lyrics, and I loved that the story didn’t just focus on the ecstasy, or any other feeling, of just one person. Although, you might want to re-read it, and fix some of your mistakes.
I'm a judge for the Pre-write contest and I really enjoyed this. I liked the forbidden romance and jealous ex lovers aspects. I also love the ending. It fit the story very well. Good work!