Never Forgotten - Comments

I've never cried with a story on here before, but this did it and I don't know why.
I don't want people to forget me when I die :(

This was so sad. :[

However, it was very well written. I enjoyed it a lot. The emotions were portrayed fantastically. I love how you had the girl, like, retorting to the words on the paper why he shouldn't have left and how he was the perfect child.

OMC! That was amazing! And it was so sad too! I really loved it.

Holy crap this was good! You have a way with words, love.
I think this one is my favorite <3

You did amazing like awlays!

:}

Holy crap this was good! You have a way with words, love.
I think this one is my favorite <3

You did amazing like awlays!

:}

I rate this story a 10 out 10.
It has strong emotion and it leads you thinking one thing, but in the end it's another.

The letter effect was a wonderful touch and the ending was perfect.
It flowed nicely and smoothly giving it a sad bittersweet ending.
You did a very good job in writing this.
That layout picture is very eerrie too. Wonderful job on it.

So all in all I loved this story, it's a different look on a suicidal story.
Exquisite writing!

That's a pretty poetic 1st paragraph :)
She was drenched to the bone, her once light red sweatshirt was now the deep color of rust from the heavy [downpoor]. - typo there, but other than that, very nice description :)
The girl's thoughts and reactions were very real, they're what I would probably think too.
I loved the Nana and Poppa part. I thought it was very cute.
Actually, I know that you're [definately] furious with me. - sorry, I just had to point this typo out too
One thing I didn't like was that I didn't really know who Ricky is. Although lot of times we can't really know a character in a one-shot, we can still accept them. I'm not sure if I can accept Ricky the way he is. I think a few more things about his life should be revealed for me to be satisfied.
But I do like the idea that he committed suicide although he didn't seem like the stereotypical suicidal types. :)

Wow.
This story was eerie, and the layout matched that perfectly.
I liked the end, and the whole entire them of it, really.
Also how it all fit together nicely.
Your discription is lovely as well. =]

The trees lining the small squared off area dripped steadily with the tears from the heavens, as the stone sentiments of Death's victims lay quietly below.
I always love seeing personification, especially when it's done like this. It refers to Death as a person, more of a Grim Reaper than an untimely occurence.

Dear to Whom it May Concern,
I think this should either be "To Whom it May Concern" or "Dear." Having both of them sounds slightly awkward.

Hell, something is wrong with me, but I didn't want you to know that.
I like how he admits his problems only after he is gone. It shows the depth of his problem, it proves that he didn't have the strength or the ability to make things better. And by saying that he didn't want them to know, it proves his love and concern for those around him.

Overall, I think this is amazing.
You've got real talent and you've proven it very well. (:

This was a wonderful story.
And you made me cry, good work.
Keep it up!

This was incredible and heartbreaking.
The letter was amazingly writ, the emotions in it all.
The emotions in the entire story.
It was just amazing.
One of the best I've read from a scenario such as this.

Wow, this was incredible.. I can't think of any way to describe it..
It was just.. Amazing.
I just loved the way you wrote th letter, the emotions were very strong.
One of the best one-shots I've read.
:)
MissParanoid

Wow, that was so emotional, and depressing (in a creative sense I mean.. Not in a I'm-so-sad-Imma-gonna-cry). I think the layout also, really had a connection with the story, which is something I can't quite explain why. I suppose it's the lack of colour, and the emptiness of it that gets to me.

But it was great, nevertheless.

This really gave me chills. I love how you did the whole "letter-writing" format. Very creative.

You have one hell of a way with words.

Doctor

Holy. Shit.
I loved it. One of the best one-shots I had ever read.
It was amazing, the way you wrote, the set-up, the details, and of course, the emotions. I seriously loved it. Amazing job.

This was sad.
But the summary scared me.
You could've made this creepy as hell if you wanted to.
By making it like a ghost story.
*chills*

The steady rain pounded down on the Earth like the beat of a drum, deafening to the ears and disheartening to look at. This metaphor is waaaay overused, just letting you know.

Awww, this is so sad D:
The emotion was beautiful,
in my opinion, at least (:
Brilliant <3

Perhaps I'm the only one, it seemed a little bare. Like, the emotion was there, but you couldn't quite touch it? Nonetheless, I loved it and it was brilliantly written! :)

I thought that was very emotional. It was very well done.
I liked how you kept her in constant denial, and anger at her brother...even if she loved him that much. I loved how you kept it so it was a constant tale of grief, as it should be. I liked how she didn't falter in her thoughts to come off as cliche` and silly.

It was absolutely brilliant. I felt a little tremble through me.

Aww, that's such a sad story. :( But it's so beautiful. I'm nearly speechless.