Saving Adele's Heart. - Comments

UPDATE THIS WOMAN.

So, Angeline, this is lovely. The layout is gorgeous, as are all your layouts. The title is lovely (it's what made me read this... well, that, and the fact that you're my friend :D) I also love the name Adele. <3

I love the first paragraph, and the way you describe Montreal. I like the way you transition into the "specific park" where Adele is. And how Luke is there, too. Lovely first chapter. :)

The second chapter is interesting. :D I like it, too. It's kind of short, though, and I want more, girl. Though I'm not complaining... I write short chapters, too, haha. <3

So I'm subscribed. :D

Absolutely loving the layout. Did you change it? Anyway, update soon, please!

Hmm.. At this point it seems like Adrianna needs the saving here.
I wonder Adele's background- family, why she moved , etc..
Very interestingly put together so far, the chapters are a little short so I can't wait for more!

The layout is great and I like how you've formatted the summary.
The introduction of the characters is really good in the prologue. Great description of the girl. I'm a sucker for artists in stories.
I like the introduction of Adrianna. I get the feeling she'll show up more in the story.
Overall, this is set up really well to build on. It'll be interesting to see what you make of this.

Mk, I've just read chapter one. And I still enjoy what you have so far. The writing is good, and I love the name Adele. Adrianna seems like your typical bitch, but whether she's a Queen Bee bitch or a Bad ass bitch I don't know. I'm still kind of afraid that this is going to be super cliche with the whole "I have to know her" shtick. But I have faith in you. :) Keep me posted on updates.

Update soon?
Please?? I'm dying to know how it will develop! (:

I'm rather in love with this boy :)
I can't wait to read more, keep it up! :D

Hm, Luke must recognize Adele?
Is she the new student? He doesn't even know her name yet? Why am I asking all of these questions? :P
Adrianna, she's a snob. Ugh, I hate people like that.
Oh, honey, guys will never be interested in you.
I really liked this again. Just try to avoid cliches, like silk tea. pointed out. But otherwise, great job.

The layout is really, really pretty. I like the fact that it's grayscale.
Ooh, Montreal! Canada is awesome. Scented cigars? Never heard of those before...
Oh, Adele is an artist!
Family problems? IN-teresting.
A new character! He's on the track team?
Aw, what's wrong with Adele? Yes, Luke, go and help her!
I really love your description, it's minimal but really does paint an image in your head.
chapter one coming immediately...

Well, I love the layout. Very pretty colors and picture and the like.

Make sure capitalize French--it's a language too.

The writing in this is very good, I like your writing style and have for everything I've read of yours. But I'm kind of afraid this will be another cliche piece. Just because of the fact that this boy has to help this girl...why must the guy always help the girl? Romances always seem to start like that--I'm just hoping your reasoning for him helping her aside from her random shed of tears. Otherwise, great job so far. :)

Great sentence fluency. It was a nicely written, and I cannot wait to read more.

Loving it. I'm excited to get to the point where they actually meet. Adrianna makes me laugh. She wouldn't have bothered talking to Luke if he wasn't hot? Haha. B*tch!!! XD

I'm in love with this story. I know that it's going places.

Keep up the good work! Subscribed my love!

- Noni.

I think it's cool how you did the title. I'm not sure how but it looks pretty damn awesome, man. :)

And it's in Montreal, which I think is so cool because I've never seen a story set there. And your descriptions are just freaking gorgeous- there was a soft breeze throughout the city, carrying the hum of laughter, happiness and energy throughout the lands. And the name Adele is really French-like too, so I think that really fits.
I like how you sort of only brush the top of her family problems, without bursting into some mini-monologue about how her life sucks, but only give us a little tidbit.
You fox, you.
And Luke seems pretty chill too.
:D

If anything, the only thing I can say is that French should be capitalized, since it's a language.
You've got yourself a new subscriber!

Oh my goodness! You're layout is absolutely breath-taking. I think it's one of the prettiest I've seen! (:
And this story, ahhhh! I can't WAIT to read more and see where this goes. It's got great potential and I'm excited to read more. Subscribed :)

I am so fucking excited.
YEAH CANADA!

Ok, anyways.

This is really gorgeous, I'm super jealous of the layout, mostly the wallpaper and your nicely scripted title at the top of the cute banner.

I like how the story flowed, everything mixed, it kind of reminded me of baking, :)

This is sounds absolutely amazing.
Subscribed.

Canadians FTW! ;)

This was pretty good, the writing was nice, and the story plot seems very interesting also. As AmorarEsDeVivir[/] said, there are a couple of things you could work on.

By the way, the layout ia absolutely gorgeous.

Good prologue. :)

She'd rather sit in front of a canvas. A sea of colours before her, painting places she'd rather be, with people she'd rather know.

It was that line by itself that made me decide to check out the prologue. Beautiful.

On to the prologue.

I like how you start off describing Montreal. I do feel like the fact that they speak French and English both is kind of a given, or something you could probably explain throughout the story--the sentence just stating that straightforwardly seems kind of out of place.

I like the description of the girl drawing. I think instead of "She wished her family was that lovely," you could...show that, rather than tell, by the way she looks at them, the way she reacts to them, etc.

The switch between the girl and Luke is a little...abrupt? I don't know, like it all seems out of order. But I absolutely lovelovelove that last line, and I think it's a great segue into the story itself.

I love your title, too. It's reflective of the core of the story, without being lengthy or giving away too much of the plot; it's intriguing, it's perfect. =)

I'm sorry if this came off as more critical than complimentary, I'm just trying to give concrit where I can--but overall, as a piece so far, I think it's absolutely lovely, and the prologue sets the scene wonderfully.